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GUARDIAN ANGEL
By: R.Krystaline Carbajal
Illustration: Jonathon Earl Bowser
Whenever you're lonely and hurting inside,
There will always be someone right by your side;
Whenever you think you faith is used up,
That someone will come and pick it back up;
Don't you ever forget how to pray,
It doesn't matter what people say;
Cause people only think they're smart,
But true feelings come from the heart.
THE BREAKDOWN...
This poem is near and dear to me, since I was very young. It is something that I dreamt about and have never forgotten. In the first stanza “Whenever you’re lonely…” calls out to most people when they encounter failure, loneliness, depression, or in some way feel alienated and forgotten. It is human because this is the normal response, to the mainstream when things suddenly go from good to bad very quickly. This could be the advent of a sudden illness, or being told one has to file for bankruptcy, or as serious as losing a loved one. The following line “… There will always be someone…” reads into the human factor of companionship. This is viewable in both Confucius and in The book of Ruth, where both call for companionship of our fellow human being, especially in times of despair.
Following through, “Whenever you think your faith is used up…” delves into the fact that one as a human being, tends to reach a point of despondency when we encounter a crisis. Much different than animals, where they simply “react to the action”, we tend to hover over the events, and re-play and reach a melancholy over this behavior. It is true that what makes us human is the fact that we are able to recognize suffering, and react to it by the intent of making it better somehow. As a society we are predisposed to create solutions for our problems, and often spend little time on the individual themselves, and ignore that not nourishing that person’s suffering spirit, is probably the biggest mistake of all. It is sad to know that most people enjoy life while things are well, and fall deep and hard when things are not… That is part of the factor of having “faith” even when things do not seem to be going well.
Faith in what? Faith in a higher being, Faith in self, faith in others, faith in our society that they will hear our call? Faith no less is a funny word. Faith is defined as constancy, conviction, loyalty, acceptance, allegiance, and surety… and yet it is also a dependency and reliance, how do we reconcile the two? This is what faith is at its core. The ability to rise above all tribulations and “know” that there is something, and/or someone always there, to help lift our spirit. However disguised this “truth” may come, it always comes. Perhaps it was the attendant at the gas station that told you “Have a blessed day”, or maybe it was even the stranger that helped you when your change fell out of your hand… it is sometimes the simple or seemingly insignificant things that come to us and we ignore, yet the unconscious records, therefore there is “always someone…”.
Continuing through the stanzas we encounter the line “Don’t you ever forget how to pray…” This line is of particular importance, because just as we slap someone that is hysterical, perhaps screaming, crying or catatonic, to “snap out of it”, prayer seems to enable the human mind to “make sense” of things, when nothing else does. It is where the “community comes in”, the “support circle” made up of friends and family, neighbors and acquaintances, everyone always have a piece of wisdom to impart… even if it comes second hand like “My grandfather always said… regret not the things we do, but the things we don’t do instead.” Even in today’s society, that seems to now be numb, or avert feelings of “empathy”
Prayer, a benediction or supplication. An imploration. A hope, a want, and a need all rolled up into one. Praying is important, whether it is used as a way to keep one’s spirits up, or as a devotion to a higher self, entity, or being. It is the act of submission, thereby allowing one’s humanity to flow and realize that we are not infallible. The gnosis that sometimes things are out of our hands… like death. It makes us feel small and insignificant, in the whole of the sum. After all we are. We are but ants in the spectrum of a view from space, imagining our surroundings to be larger than they are, because they seem so to us at the time. This realization comes almost at the end of the stages of grief… denial, anger, bargaining, depression, “acceptance”.
In deference to the mainstream of our polis, the next line reads… “It doesn’t matter what people say…” truly because this part of the self-knowing process, is very intimate and should include only thought of the self. This is the part where you get to be selfish, because after all, who else is going to know exactly what is going on in your head? Sometimes even the best attempts of empathy are failed by others, and in the end, we only have ourselves. In contract to Confucius’ sense of community, in this line it makes clear, that for a moment, sometimes we need to be alone, to ponder, to philosophize, to think. This does not mean that we step away from our responsibilities or our life as a member of this society, simply that we take a pause.
“…People only think they are smart, but true feelings come from the heart.” In this line of closing, I establish that although we depend on our surroundings, our community, our circle of support to carry us through the times that we need to be delivered, ultimately it is the self, the feelings that come from within, the instincts that make us who we are, that take over once we surrender. The Empathy, love, dedication, prayer, supplication, loyalties, and surrender all add up to one thing… That in the end, our self will give us the answer. Is it a divine connection? Is it purely human and unconscious thought at work? Perhaps, but whatever it is, it works, and this is the key, and ultimately the only way to find true answers. Just listen…
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